The 3HQ Method with Hilary DeCesare (Encore)

Jeff Kikel: 00:00:00

Hello, Freedom Nation. It's Jeff here once again with the freedom nation podcast. And on today's show I had Hilary DeCesare. Hilary is the epitome of the person that went through their freedom day. She began as a high level executive working for companies like Xerox and Oracle, eventually went on to do some consulting work, and really was feeling unfulfilled, she spent more time away from her family than with her family. And that led her down the path of eventually figuring out her own Freedom Day. So I hope you enjoy this show. As much as I did. It was one of the most enjoyable interviews I've done all year. And there's some actionable things that she teaches during the show, so I hope you get to enjoy it.

Jeff Kikel: 00:00:50

FN Intro/Outro: Welcome to the Freedom Nation podcast with Jeff Kikel. On this show, Jeff shares his expertise in financial and retirement planning from a different perspective. Planning for Your Freedom Day, which is the first day that you wake up and have enough income or assets and do not have to go to work that day. Learn how to calculate what you need, how to generate income sources, and listen to interviews from others who've done it themselves. Get ready to experience your own Freedom Day.

Jeff Kikel: 00:01:24

Hey, everybody, welcome to the freedom nation podcast. And once again, we have a phenomenal interview with an excellent entrepreneur, and thought leader, writer podcaster whatever she is today, Hilary this detail disarray, right,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:01:41

I actually we're in Italy, you're absolutely right, but I got lied to Caesar.

Jeff Kikel: 00:01:46

All right, we'll just go well, Americanize it. I love it. I was I was trying to hit I was trying to Italian it a little bit.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:01:52

No, but it is it's so true. When I go to Italy, I have to say it's done.

Jeff Kikel: 00:01:57

Well, Hilary, welcome to the show today. I'm super excited. We had a great conversation ahead of time. So I know we're gonna have a great interview today and learn a little bit about you. So why don't we kick off with your story? How did you get to where you are today?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:02:12

Jeff, first off, thank you for having me. And yes, I wish everyone could have heard the the first 20 minutes of our call. It was good everyone. Stay tuned, because we are going to dial this up

Jeff Kikel: 00:02:25

It's one of those ones where you go crap, I wish I had a hip down or button before Honestly,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:02:29

I really wish we had it. So here's the thing. I am a Silicon Valley Girl, I you know, kind of grew up in the time where it was a high tech, big giant, and lots of lots of male presence around me. And I really realized that at that time, that there was a point where I was charging. I was going I was up no joke at three o'clock in the morning. And I would crawl into bed at 10 or 11. There were nights that I actually stayed at the office at Oracle. Was there almost 10 years sleeping under my desk. Yes, that was me. I have a separate shirt and I would just put it on in the morning. And hey, here I am fresh.

Jeff Kikel: 00:03:19

Do you have your little George Costanza little rack down below there?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:03:24

Oh, I had I had my little teeny like setup where I could just you know quickly like act like oh, no, I've been here. You know, I've been here I'm the early bird gets the worm, right? Yeah,

Jeff Kikel: 00:03:34

I'm just Harvard. I'm a hard worker. And I'm just here early. So

Hilary DeCesare: 00:03:37

I gotta tell you, though, that was like, the about the fourth time I did that. I'm like, come on, what is this? Like? i What is this? And I had three little kids then not not when I was sleeping under my desk. But at that point, you know, when I start to continue through this journey, as you asked, and I had an hour drive home each night, and then the traffic started to get even worse than it became an hour and a half. And by the time I got home, my kids were asleep. By the time I left in the morning, my kids were still asleep and I felt I felt what I call corporate guilt. And that is what guilty when I'm at the office guilty when I'm home. Guilty, guilty guilty. I am never in a state of alignment. Never.

Jeff Kikel: 00:04:26

You're in a virtual stress bomb because you're beating yourself up nonstop.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:04:30

Totally. So yes. What ended up happening is my marriage fell apart. And I ended up getting melanoma and we had just like one thing after the next and there's a point of why I'm telling you all this nonverbal like, Oh God, this poor woman but it just seemed like I couldn't at that point. I couldn't find happiness. I couldn't find joy. I was constantly in flux. So So what happened then is the president of Oracle Ray Lane, who was one of my mentors left to go to Kleiner Perkins. And he called me up and said, Hillary, you got to come over, you got to do a scrub session with all of my, with all of our portfolio companies, John Doerr was also one of the, you know, had partners and he had his people, he all these people, and I did it. And I fell in love that three day session with coaching people coaching these, these new and upcoming CEOs, and some of them had done it two or three businesses, they had had successes and kept going with it. But I loved it. And I did. I started a full on business around it. And then what happened was, I caught the bug. I was helping all these people grow scale their businesses, I thought, you know, what do I really need to do I need to do something that's going to impact what I care about, what do I care about? What's my purpose? What's my passion? I'm sure many of you out there thinking, you know, same same things, right? Like, why am I doing anything that I'm doing? And how do I sometimes exit gracefully? What I'm doing because I know it's not meant for me? Or how do I make something that I know I'm so close to work. And I thought, I want this, I want this for myself. So I had my three little kiddos. And they were what we call tweens. This eight to 12 year old I had twins and another one and and I thought you know, I really am passionate about internet security. I'm passionate about tech. And I created a company called ever loop. And actually it wasn't it was first called Girl ambition. Then it turned into everlink when we added the boys to it because girls and boys weren't being safe online. And we immediately got an acquisition offer and took it to that next level ended up going out there, I raised about 9 million plus dollars for the company. And I loved it. But I had already started one company then I had done, you know, the consulting, which I never gave up. I always to this day have always had one on one clients because I love it. I love it keeps no one. Yeah, ah, and you really you know, where you can go with somebody is is truly incredible. When you're like, it's if I feel like that woman on you know, billionaire or, you know, billions, or whatever that shows call. And she's like, this is what we're gonna do. This is how we're gonna do it. I'm like, Yes, that is. That's what it's all about. So fast forward, then, um, I and I'm going to share the story later with you. There were some hiccups along the road, which, you know, they always say you're only as good as your failures, right? successes, it's pretty easy to ride the waves. And I had written a lot of successful waves. But the failure wave, it really took me down and we'll talk we'll talk about that. But what ended up happening is, through different circumstances, situations, I woke up one day and realize that I have to make a change. I have to take control of where I'm going. And once you know it another relaunch hit my mom, my mom, sweet, sweet Judy, she ended up getting stage four colon cancer. Oh, no. And this was such a blow to me. Because the women in my family all lived into their hundreds. Sure.

Jeff Kikel: 00:08:44

So you're, you're applying Okay, she's gonna be around forever. Yeah.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:08:48

And Jeff, my identity. My own identity was, hey, I'm not even halfway through. I'm not even at the midzone yet. And next thing you know, she moved in. And it was one of those moments where my mom and my daughter, my youngest daughter were living with me and I had been I got remarried to this fabulous man I've been with for 10 years. But during this time, we were living in two houses because he had kids, I had kids and we were trying to let's not rock the boat for them. And so I had a senior and I had you know, who was trying to live the life of you know, I'm a senior itis I've got, you know, all these things. And then I had a mom who was just dying before me and she did end up passing. And it was right before COVID. And at that point, that's when I realized you know what, there is a tremendous amount of people out there that are trying to relaunch and change and find something and not be stuck in the rut and being stagnant and feeling like is this really it? Or feeling like you're beating yourself up? up, because you're not where you thought you'd be at this point. And I created this company called relaunch to help to help with, you know, someone once asked me, How many relaunches Have you been through. And I mean, I've had, I've had a near death experience when I was two. I've had my grandparents were killed in an automobile crash when I was 12. And so these are pretty heavy duty ones. And I said, you know, I had to count them. And I had 34. And they said, Oh, you're the relaunch queen. I'm like, stop right there. I'm not owning that title. There's no way I don't want it. I don't know I will be the C E O, the chief energy officer, we

Jeff Kikel: 00:10:41

go now we're talking

Hilary DeCesare: 00:10:42

but do not do not call me

Jeff Kikel: 00:10:46

the relaunch queen.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:10:49

We are not take that off my, if it's on anything that you've seen. Never say it. So that's where I am. I'm doing incredible things for people in business and in their personal life.

Jeff Kikel: 00:11:03

That so what's, you know, how do you help business owners at this point?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:11:08

Well, so here's the thing, I've always taken a very holistic approach, and you're gonna laugh because it's like, where did holistic come out of Oracle days, and Xerox days, and all these, it's literally as far from

Jeff Kikel: 00:11:20

Those places on balanced life, or it's all career. And

Hilary DeCesare: 00:11:25

it was, and I realized with all of the individuals that I've coached, and the conversations that I've had, and the desires of where people wanted to take their business, and it doesn't matter if you're starting and launching a business, and or you're trying to sell your business for 200 plus million dollars, there was a situation that happened with one of my clients, and he came to me after he had successfully sold his business. And he said, Hillary, I am about to lose my wife, my son doesn't talk to me. I am so isolated, everything I've always gone for. I now realize that I didn't necessarily mean for it to happen. I wanted something that was a dream. But it wasn't necessarily my dream. And now I've I'm literally crushed. And he looked at me and said, I did it. I hit the ball out of the park, but I'm still on the bench. And I'm like, let's get you off the bench. Let's get you back in the game. And we started working together. And this isn't just a one off. This is what was happening when I would go when I talked to people about scaling their businesses, and I want to take it internationally. And I, we put a plan together. And then two months later, I said what what's going on? What's happening here, we haven't executed on any of this. And they said well, and in further conversations, I realized that his divorce is on the brink. And if he took his business into the international markets, his wife was going to leave them. So there was no way. And then there is a woman who came to me and she was a C suite executive. And again, I can tell you 1000 stories from I'm just starting out, I've maxed out my credit cards to this woman who came to me and said, I just got fired. And I wasn't expecting it. I thought that this was going to be a position I'd have four years on and I thought I was doing a really good job. And her perspective was there are no jobs in tech. There are no jobs right now. Nobody's going to hire me. People have told me you know, that they've gone for 18 different positions and nobody's hiring. And I said again, it does not matter how many, or how little are out there. You only need one. Yeah, let's get you that one. And I'm so happy to say a month ago, she called up she was crying. She's like, I got the ideal job. And I said, Of course she did. Because using this approach that I'd like to share with you. It begins to make sense. And when my mom passed and it was COVID I realized I could not go out and do and Eat, Pray, Love and travel the world and do all this fabulous thing which I needed. I needed it. I couldn't go into the wild because even in the wild, they were saying you had to wear masks. And so I decided to write a book and I put together this relaunch spark your heart to ignite your life with the hope that through my stories through my clients stories. And through an understanding of what type of framework I use with my clients in group coaching in one on one it may Help to impact and have grace, dignity to get through any transition and have a transformation. And the process is called three h q. And the HQ is like your business, it's your headquarters. But guess what you are in the business of you, whether you're a CEO, whether you're in corporate, whether you're an entrepreneur, you are in the business of you. And there are three areas, three departments that are critical. And it's your head, your heart and your higher self. And the higher self is your highest self. It's the best darn version of you. That's what it really is. Forget about, like, you know, the religion, forget about universe forget, it's your best version, where you are like, dang, things are working for me right now. And so, when I created this, and I again, it was through trial and error through you know, all these different approaches, and you've heard of IQ, it was huge in the 60s 70s 80s. How smarter you were kind of problem solver, you then in the 90s, it became EQ. How emotionally savvy Are you? Well, today is a different world. Today, it's no longer people have literally are now expecting more, they've had time to change up their environment to relaunch, right relaunch, because I'm relaunching people anywhere, anytime, anyhow, have you any which way we are relaunching whether it's global relaunch, personal professional, production, or any of these people are relaunching. And what became super important was realizing that too many of us are tuning out, we're like, Oh, my God, this is just too much, there's been too much change too much of this. And I look at it like this, in three HQ. In the head component, there are steps that I teach, certainly foundational steps to running a successful company that can scale six to seven to eight, and beyond. All right. But if everyone did those steps, everyone would not become successful. Because what's missing? It's the other components, it's the other parts of it. Yes, in the head, you've got your identity, your business has an identity, your clients have identities. And then you think about that in your head, you've got your limiting beliefs. And you've got your empowering beliefs that a lot of people don't talk about, right? It's only the trauma, it's only the bad things that are happening, the limiting ones, but there's also the really great ones that give us a lot of indication of what is really going to light you up is really going to feel you. But then you look at your heart and your emotion and your why and how you're going to impact. And that becomes super important. And there's a huge element in the heart piece that I go into. And that is there are people there are gurus out there that are shouting from stages, literally shouting, love your life. Love yourself. Love your business, love, love, love, love, love, love, love. And I am a proponent of love. I love love. I was such a proponent that I took up a hobby of being a matchmaker a few years ago, and went out and got my my matchmaking Institute. Yeah, Hillary to Caesar. I loved it. Because I thought, what if I could get you to date yourself? What if I could get you to be the CEO of you? Well, it means you have to be willing to date you. And let me tell you, there's not a lot of people. When I asked this question, Would you do it yourself? So I realized I realized how great how great right now, what if I'm not the only one out there that at some point really did not like myself really? Actually, I despise myself. And I couldn't go from that side of the canyon and do an Evil Knievel over to the other side. I needed to take it a little slower. I needed to go from that hate to like and then I got to love and that's where things started.

Jeff Kikel: 00:19:30

Evil Knievel only made it halfway across the canyon later that's that's going over the top.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:19:38

That is such a good point. See, he didn't make it nor did I and and that's when you know, you crash and you burn because you try. You think like am I not normal? I grew up thinking like if I were ever unhappy, there was something wrong with me. Yeah, I thought you know, hey, put on a happy face. And I'm like, but I'm not happy. Yeah, so there's all All these things that we go into in the heart area, there's emotional blocks, there's things and I've studied psychology, I have a degree in psychology. And I've been studying neuroscience for about 10 years, super passionate about it and having simple ways to explain it that will be relevant, relevant in business as well. And then as you get from the head to the heart, you go to your highest self, that's your energy. That's where people say, you know, oh, gosh, I want like minded people around me know, like minded energy is what's going to bring in massive success. Like minded energy is going to bring in partnerships, it's going to bring in the type of people you want to work with. And so I would really love and this is so crazy, but I'd like to take you through a process that will highlight the three h q, your HQ, and the three H's are the head, the heart, the higher self, the highest self, and I'd love to take you through a process I called Tune in. Are you game?

Jeff Kikel: 00:21:06

Orient?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:21:09

Jeff, you're so great. Yes. Bring it on. So here's the thing. A lot of times people say Hilary through HQ, that's great. Like, wow, yeah, okay, conceptually, I get it. But how do I actually put it to use? Well, I have a full program, six month program, a year long program that will really put it into place. But I'd like to give you an example of something that I call the tune in process. It's like a pocket tool. And you can use it starting right now. Starting today, and I suggest you use it as many times throughout the day as you possibly can. Einstein said, you can't solve a problem. At the level of consciousness it was created. Okay. It took me so many years to figure out what the heck he meant. Okay. I was not understanding. And I'm like, I don't know, get it. But I now totally get it. And what I what I tell people is, when you are feeling like, is this all there is? Is My Business ever going to be successful? Am I ever going to get through this financial gate of 250,000, or half a million or 1 million or 250, or whatever it is 10 million, whatever the gate that you're looking for, it's just, it seems like it's so far out there. And you have doubt, and you have fears. And even you have a little like shame and blame. If you're like, God, I can't cross this. I keep trying, I'm working harder and more hours. And you talk about finance and time and intention. And it's like this is where this begins, we have to elevate ourselves to a higher level of energy, we have to create energy on demand that will allow us to rise from a lower level of energy to a higher level of energy. Like if you think about shame and blame on a vibrational level they're at 20, or 30. Fear is that 100? Well, love and joy is above 500. And so you need to be at the higher level so that you attract what you're looking for at the higher level. So how we do that is the tune in process. And the way we go about it is four easy steps. Easy, I keep it simple. Step one. And Jeff, I'm just going to ask you to kind of like riff with me. Step one is what is a business challenge? We're just going to stick with business yet you can do this was personal what is the business challenge that you have right now? That you're that you're facing? That's kind of like it's it's it's depleting your energy a bed, it's bringing you down? It's like, Ah, why hasn't this happened?

Jeff Kikel: 00:23:49

Yeah, I think you know, for me, it is a conscious focus of this first half of 2023 has been to really broaden my reach through communications, you know, through podcasts and YouTube channels and all that, you know, and there's, there's a point where you just keep working, you think you're talking just to yourself, at that point, you've not really built that tribe that's interacting with you and all that and you wonder if is it worth it? At that, you know, is it worth working as hard as you're working every day to do this.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:24:25

So what I'm hearing you say is for the second half of the year, the challenge you don't want to keep grinding, keep putting out a lot of what you're doing put you know exerting yourself with all the podcasts you want to see some way that you're going to be able to incorporate this into growth of your business and growth of yourself right where you're going where you're taking this. So the real challenge and what he's really done here is beautiful because sometimes you're going into something like I get I got on the show, right right before I got on the show. The challenge challenges can be good and bad, right? You can have a negative perception of a challenge on a positive. When I think of a challenge, like coming on to your show, Jeff, it was there was an intention, an intention to, you know, somebody listening out there that it really resonates with my message sharing. Maybe it's the tuning process. So I love that you said it's your intention. So what you could do is you could say Your challenge is really the second half of the year now is to allow for growth, allow for your business to scale and really think about what that's going to look like. So now that's step one. Step two, is called change the channel. And changing the channel is when because step one was head, right, I'm asking you, what's your challenge? What's the, that's all head based, you know, it's like, ah, what am I doing my thoughts, my thoughts are all around this negative thing. But step two is changed the channel. It's that highest self, it's going to that energy level. And the way we do that is with a song. And so I want you to tell me a song, a name of a song that absolutely when you hear it, it lights you up. What would that song be?

Jeff Kikel: 00:26:07

Legendary by wealthy arms, the greatest entrepreneur song that has ever been written?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:26:13

Legendary legend, okay. Okay, now, can I be so bold to have you Hamid? I'm kidding. You don't have to do that. Okay, so

Jeff Kikel: 00:26:26

long, so you probably don't want that. But yeah, that is my, as we talked before, you know, of, you know, what we do routine wise, it's part of my morning routine. That's part of my Alexa. And that's the last thing that Alexa does, I have affirmations I have everything on there. That's the last thing that plays and that's my, my wrestling walk out song, go into battle in, in business every day.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:26:54

Okay, you are already starting to tune in. So you are going to absolutely embrace this. Now. Every time you start to think about your growth in the second half and about you know, broadening your reach, you're gonna think of this song. Now you may say, hey, I want to come up with a different song because that's my daily theme song. That's my, you know, my arena song as you said, but here's the greatest part. Every time you hear this, and I want you as step two, to take this song legendary, I want you to hear it in your head. Now you could play it on your phone, you could play it on a stereo, do whatever. But you know the song, I want you to think about it from a neuroscience perspective. And this has, you know, this has all of the science behind it. I want you to listen and think about it. Play it in your head for at least 20 seconds, changing the state by moving your body by literally like you know, anything you can do. And so I just want you to close your eyes really quickly. Think of the song legendary. Jeff, turn it up, turn it up right now. It's not loud enough. All right, move your body 20 seconds. Now, what we're going to do is go into step three. Step three, is where you think of yourself emotionally charged up. You are you are right now you have broadened your reach, you have hit that goal, you have done everything. And you are you're living the life right now. Okay? And I want you to tell me Is there a color and tune back into legendary tune back into the song because we want to elevate that song keeps you at a higher level of energy? Is there a color that's coming to you right now that you're wearing that you're seeing gold, I want you to 10x that gold, make that gold so bright, so vivid, because what we're doing is we're charging up different areas in your head. So good. So now, I am going to use one more step of neuroscience, where we're going to take an internal picture in your mind of that image. You're going to see that image in your head by closing your eyes. And now when I say click, that is going to be your anchor, you're going to open and close your eyes very quickly. Click Click, click three clicks, you have three incredible pictures they are like bouncing off it is like your micro movie in your mind. Now, the fourth step is that delay is not anything that the universe that you can do now it is so in the cards it is your future, that image is ingrained in your head. So what is a micro action that you can take right now today? As soon as we're done? You told me I'm the last person you're interviewing. What could you do? Tune back in to legendary? Hear it inside you what could you do right now? I As one step towards that many movie in your mind that image of you with that gold,

Jeff Kikel: 00:30:08

connect all the pieces of the pie in my in the back end of my sales system to the end result. That's this one little project that needs to be completed. And it's a quick, easy, get it done and then promote to that system.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:30:24

You know what I love about Jeff, that he's saying, It's a quick and easy for a lot of people out there, you're probably like, connect all that and not at all and make it all happen. But he's saying for him. And this is a great point for him, it's easy, I want it to be easy for you, it might be to reach out to somebody that you know, can help you with this, it might be to look at and formulate on a piece of paper, a quick outline, it might be going over to AI and putting in a prompt and saying, you know, I just want the basics like what is it a micro action, it shouldn't take you more than 1015 minutes, and I had people do a minute. But now every time he comes back to this specific challenge, or intention, he will go through this process again, he will become a master at the tune in process. And here's the key. Every time you do something, whether it's coming on the show, whether it's doing a post going live, whether it's getting on a stage, whether it's doing your finances, if you can tune in right before to the project at hand, you are literally putting out the energy that will come back to you. So you're able to figure things out faster, you're able to keep do more, with less time, as you always talk about. And that's the key here because when you're at a low energy, you're wasting time, your intentions are all over the place. And that's costing you money. So that's how we tie it all together. So tune in process again, step one, your challenge or your intention. Step two is change the channel using a song, letting it go through your body for at least 20 seconds. Step three, the micro movie in your mind, seeing a color making it 10x doing the click anchoring that image and step four is a micro action to move towards motivating and success.

Jeff Kikel: 00:32:30

That is brilliant. Absolutely. Well,

Hilary DeCesare: 00:32:33

I need to know now once you're done with what you said this, you know connecting the pie, you have my email, you can email me DM me, I am keeping you accountable. I'm keeping you accountable there. It's time to do it and everyone else out there. Everyone else take yourself through this process right now what are you going to commit to do? Not tomorrow. But today.

Jeff Kikel: 00:32:58

So the challenge is going to be everybody. When you do that one thing, you go through that process when you do that one thing, put a comment in the show here. And then I can share all that with Hillary. So you want to do this. Everybody commit to this, and I'll even put that out there myself when it's complete. So y'all know that I've made that step.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:33:21

I love chills. This was the energy I'm talking about.

Jeff Kikel: 00:33:26

I'm charged up right now. So what is new in your world right now? What? What are you working on?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:33:32

So I'm so excited Our book is out. And there are other pieces of it and audible a hard copy of it. It's all coming together and super excited to announce that. And I also might be thinking of another book that's in the works. And I am I you know, I have to say probably my biggest passion is the fired up entrepreneur. And that's something that has come from 23 years of coaching, and really knowing what you need to know knowing that it's not about you know, step one to 25, which I give you. It's about everything else with three HQ. So we have we have that being offered, you know coming up as well. And you can take the three HQ quiz. On our website. It's the relaunch.com. The relaunch.com is the website. If you scroll down, you can see where you fall. Are you a leader that's leading from your head or your heart or your highest self, and we give you quick and easy tips to start your journey to become more in alignment with all three.

Jeff Kikel: 00:34:42

I love that. All right, now it's time to jump over to the Fast Five questions. You're ready. Now I'm ready. All right. So number one you wake up in the morning business is totally gone. You have a place to live. You have 500 bucks laptop computer food and drink Are you going to do first?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:35:01

Whoo. Okay. First, what I would do is I would write down five people that I would call instantly that I respect, you know, they're always talking about, you know, you're you're only as strong as your network, right? And so I would start to look at the people that I have always loved what they're doing. And am I allowed to get back into the coaching business? Or do I have to fix them? You can Oh, wow. Okay, so I would pick up my phone, I would get on Instagram, and I would start coaching, literally, start doing some coaching sessions right then in there. But I do think that there's something so powerful about making sure that you have your list the people that you are connecting with, and speaking about what is going on in their world. So if indeed, something is not quite the way you wanted in your own business, maybe you haven't gone all the way down and only have $500. You can immediately call them and say, let's, you know, let's do something. Let's partner let's you know, hey, what if I did something like this?

Jeff Kikel: 00:36:10

Love it? Love it. Second one? What's the biggest business mistake you've ever made? No.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:36:17

I'll tell you one. Okay. Yeah, no, exactly. Let me tell you, there's plenty of them. It is really I didn't trust my intuition. And that's one of the that's one of the main main stories I tell in my book that has to do with three h scale. It was a complete disaster.

Jeff Kikel: 00:36:35

I love it. What's a good book that you'd recommend for our audience?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:36:39

Hmm. Okay. So I'll tell you when I just recommended yesterday, and I'm working with a student who's graduating from Brown, and I have a passion for college kids. And we're coming out with this tune in process everyone for college kids, that's going to be available for them. But I am working with him. And I said thinking grow rich. Why is that so important? Because we all have the ability to do what Napoleon Hill did, to reach out to people much like I just said, with, you know, industry experts, people and be able to whether they're they come on your podcast, whether you are writing an article, whether you're doing a summit, and you can include them. And by doing that, what you're doing is you're this, this amazing kid has 75 people he's interviewed. He's now interviewed, and I said, it's all about this, this is this allows you to learn from others failures and successes.

Jeff Kikel: 00:37:41

Well, you know, the cause I will get to the last question here. But I actually, for my book that's coming out, actually chose my dream 100 people that I would love to have on the show that I've not yet not been able to get on the show. I've sent them emails with one question, what is your definition of freedom, and have gotten lands back at I mean, some amazing things back from people that I would have never been able to interact with, and not ask anything of them. So it's, you've got to ask, you've got to get yourself into uncomfortable situations like that.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:38:15

But you also here's the thing, a lot of times, you know, if you look at the law of attraction, you look at the secret, the book a secret, you know, and people think, Oh, well, this is what I want. You put together your list. Yeah, that's the key. That is the key right there, you took a micro action to start to create 123, all the way up to 100. That's what we have to be looking at in every single entrepreneur, every single person in corporate, you have to know who you really are, like admiring, respecting. And we always talk about the future identity of yourself. Wow, you start to look at these people. I remember when I was going through divorce, and I started to say, Okay, well who do I think has really great marriages. And it took me a long time to five, five couples. But I finally did and I really, I went out and I interviewed them, I really talked to them. And guess what you do? You know, I put the highlights down. And lo and behold, I was able to then be able to bring in that type of marriage into my life. And that's who I'm married to now that it's an accumulation of these five couples.

Jeff Kikel: 00:39:31

I love it. I absolutely love it. What's a tool that you use in your business every day that you could recommend?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:39:37

So I would say there are two and one. Remember, I've been doing this for 23 years. So Evernote is something I've used forever and I write notes on every single client I work with and tag them and be able to go back and know where they are because I have people that come and work with me for a year or two and then they go off and then they come back and you know I want to make sure I'm tracking that. And the other one that I have to say that I'm really loving. And I have been using it for about a year is Monday monday.com.

Jeff Kikel: 00:40:08

Yep, that's that's another one that's been popping up lately.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:40:11

Yeah, I really I have to say, and we're actually starting to use the CRM component of it as well. Really, I suggest you look at super easy for everyone on the team to follow. And we go through it on our Monday calls on our Monday calls, we go through Monday.

Jeff Kikel: 00:40:25

Yeah, I love it. Perfect. It's probably where they got it originally. Okay. Last question, what is your definition of freedom?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:40:37

I often talk about people being on the struggle bus. And it's never any fun to be everything has to be a struggle. And many of us generationally, we've been taught that things have to be a struggle. When I think of freedom, financial freedom, I think have the ability to have this lifestyle of success. And right now, I feel like I am the luckiest person alive, because this is what I this is what I teach, in that you have to first identify what is your lifestyle of success for me, it's being able to do what I do anywhere in the world. I've got five kids, I have, you know, there's a lot going on. And somebody's always either needing you know, or I need to go there. And so I'm being able to be present, wherever I am, at any moment in time is really the best version of freedom, big difference

Jeff Kikel: 00:41:39

from the those years of spending 20 hours a week or 20 hours a day at the office. So

Hilary DeCesare: 00:41:46

big difference. I mean, wow, it's such a big difference.

Jeff Kikel: 00:41:52

Well, Hillary, how does somebody get the book, first off, and what's the best way to get ahold of you if they have to, if they want to learn more.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:42:00

So definitely go to the relaunch.com the relaunch is our website, the relaunch.com, you can follow us on Instagram at the relaunch koco.com with a relaunch cow, and the book is available on Amazon. It is you can just type in Hillary disease or you could type in relaunch spark your heart to ignite your life. And I love I love people that read it. And then they go to the website, check out the three HQ or the reverse because we give out a lot of chapters in the in the actual quiz, and things that follow and see if it resonates. And when it does, you know again, I love I love people reaching out to me and DMing me and you know, just saying, hey, this, this resonated while this is, you know, I didn't know anyone else had the same thing happened. So I am a big communicator. And I like Don't Don't be shy. Let me know. Let me know what you think.

Jeff Kikel: 00:43:04

Love it. Well, thank you so much for just everything today. It was just a absolute joy. You are a beautiful person internally and externally and just a beautiful soul. So thank you for sharing all that you are today with our audience. I know there's people out there that are sitting there going God I feel like the way she was and you just got to figure out how to get there. Yeah, the process and get there.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:43:31

And every person deserves to be fired up again. You know, there's a reason I call our program the fired up entrepreneur, because we you know, we've just a lot of people have lost that dream. Time to get that time to get that dream back. So Jeff, thank you for letting

Jeff Kikel: 00:43:47

me be like I said most people build the most beautiful prison as a business and then wonder why they feel like an inmate.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:43:55

So true. Drew, absolutely might drop on that one.

Jeff Kikel: 00:44:01

Well, thank you for being on. Folks. Thank you for joining us. As always, we do these shows for you, or we're sharing these stories because we want you if somebody's sitting out there and when listening to or watching this, and this resonates with you that Hillary story, make sure that you take action on that share your your comments below of what you're committing to. And make sure you subscribe to the channel because we do lots of these and you don't want to miss one. So thanks a lot and we will see you guys back here the very next time.

Jeff Kikel: 00:44:36

FN Intro/Outro: Thank you for listening to the Freedom Nation podcast. You can find us on Apple podcasts and all the major channels wherever you're listening. Please subscribe to the channel and leave a rating and review. If you have friends and family that could benefit from their own Freedom Day. Please share with them. Finally, join freedom nation by following us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.